Unknowing fallout

I don’t think there’s any number of movies, songs, videos, or books that describe how bad a friendship breakup just hurts you. We’ve all seen relationship breakups because that’s the most talked about and people think that’s the worst that could ever happen. But just imagine you meet a person on the daily, you share your life with them, you go through ups and downs with, explore new places, they become a part of your routine and somehow one day it all ends. This one breakup leads to so many changed behavior and thoughts. This one person is someone who gave the word “friendship” a new meaning and you won’t find it in anyone else. You constantly think about the time when it went all wrong. You are upset, angry, and anxious because they were a crucial part and suddenly there’s a big hole in your life. It’s a bitter feeling of letting go of them because you thought of them as your ride or die. You have come to end with the fact that you both are going on different paths now and that you won’t be able to talk to them again. There wouldn’t be another gossip session or a random call at 2 am just to let each other know how the day was. It is all gone. You realize the hand you were holding has to be let go off and you’ve to balance yourself now. You know you are going to see them over Instagram posting about their life, their new friends, and then it’d make you sad because you didn’t get the closure you needed. One day you stopped texting and they stopped calling you for little things and it all just ended. You see their story or post on Instagram and want to text them saying how their makeup looked amazing or their hair had become nicer but you know that isn’t your place anymore. When this happens, you know for that moment you feel like the world just stopped. Your mind is foggy and your hands are shaky and your eyes are teary but you don’t know what can be done. By the end of it all, there’s one question you ask yourself i.e., how do I say goodbye to this person? You can’t block them because the situations weren’t that bad to do so nor can you unfriend them. You seem have stuck in the middle. They were someone you could rely on and now that it’s gone you feel like you can never trust someone again the same way. You constantly question why that person left even when you gave the amount of love that no one else could give to them. But at this point you need to realize that they just gave you a place to express that love, they didn’t give you the capacity. The love and the caring behavior came from within and you don’t have to give someone else the power to control how you love or care about them. But it’s difficult how friendships falling apart can be and how that stuff can leave you wounds and behaviors that take ages to heal.